Dear So and So - The Shopkeepers Edition

Dear Old Lady Customer from 1:43pm Today

I know that the bananas were 29p per lb, do you know why?  Because I put them there! Amazing that isn't it.  Do you think I'm just some silly shop girl?  Well, Little Pet is not my name and I am almost 30 thank you very much. and I can safely say that I know more about fruit and veg than you do.  It's kind of my shop, even ask the owner (I know more than him and he used to be a farmer!)  AND just in case you did not realise I'm there more often than you and guess what... I even place the orders so obviously I am going to know what you are buying as I buy it first!    You were so patronising and that really pissed me off which made me rather cross as I am known for being your FRIENDLY neighbourhood Green Grocer.  In future, go and shop elsewhere please.

Little Pet of a shop girl

Dear Cucumber Man

I don't speak very much Polish but I do understand what you are saying plus, it's kind of obvious when you are playing with the cucumbers in that obscene manner.  Actions really do speak louder than words you know!  I know our cucumbers are probably the largest you have ever seen and it is certainly not as big as your penis, that would be some sort of record or something.  Is that why you think it's so funny to do it every week.  It's kind of getting old now so can you give it a rest?  Maybe move onto something else like watermelons perhaps... There are so many more things you can do with them!

Dzieku Je

The Management.

Dear Apu

I would really, really like you to take someone else on.  I am not super woman, although I do come across that way.  When you leave me in the shop on my own for hours on end and it's really busy I could use someone to help fill up the shelves instead of accosting passing friends to help (it's rather embarrassing)  I know you can't afford it yet but I'm just putting it out there for future reference.  

Thankies

The Boss